Moving Against Your Will - Strategies to Overcome Resentment

by Heather Markel
(New York, NY, USA)

In today's economy, there are a lot of individuals that are forced to move to a new city, or even a new country. Often times, it's a matter of moving where the work is. Other times, you may be following someone you love, making your own personal sacrifices to do so.

Relocating can be difficult or easy - depending upon whether you're moving happily or you're moving against your will. If you're moving to follow a dream, you might feel excited. However, if you're moving against your will, or sacrificing a lot to make the move, it can be easy to feel resentful, stubborn and unwilling for change to happen.

Unfortunately, staying stuck in this resentment, and continuing to be stubborn will actually backfire. It will quickly lead you to see only negatives about your life. You'll hate where you're living, be angry with those around you, push away loved ones and, ultimately, become completely isolated, homesick, and maybe even depressed. So, what should you do if you are being forced to move against your will, or if you've already relocated and are stuck in resentment?

Here are some helpful strategies:

Admit that you hate it. If you hate the idea of moving, say it. Admit it out loud - yell it if you want to. Give yourself this opportunity to speak your mind. This will allow you to give voice to your internal feelings, be heard, and that, in turn, will enable you to move on.

Give yourself a grieving period. Set a defined time limit - no more than two weeks - to allow yourself to really grieve about the move. Mope around, growl at the changes you see, just feel terrible. Towards the end of this period, you might even try exaggerating how awful everything is to get it all out, and, also, allow yourself to understand how easy it is to find all the negatives. But once the grieving period is over, stop it. Make a commitment to find positives, stop complaining and really stick to it.

Find something positive to celebrate every day. You might find a video store that allows you to rent movies really cheaply. You might have had a nice conversation with the cashier as you purchased groceries. Perhaps you treat yourself to some chocolate and celebrate how great it tasted! The point is to celebrate something - feel good about something each day.

Keep a journal of your experiences. Keep track of everything - all the feelings from your grieving period, and then notes about the positive things you find to celebrate. After a few months, you'll be able to read back over the entries and see just how far you've come. This is encouraging and can really help you in your new surroundings.

Though it may take some time, moving forward, looking for new opportunities, and creating a positive mindset will make your experience a lot better.

For more tips visit culturetransition.com









The Culture Transition Reading Room contains articles contributed by Culture Transition Coach Heather Markel, author of the Learn to Feel At Home Anywhere in the World Relocation Success Guide and Social Success Strategies, both available in E-book format.

Heather's now got two new E-books out. Learn how to make a new city feel like a home and how to find activities you love. And learn the secrets of a successful overseas work experience. Learn how to prepare for the professional changes to expect after relocating. She offers a great 30-day money-back guarantee.





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